Iranian Families (cont. from last issues)
by: Behnaz Jalali
Sent by: Tahereh Rah
Iranian live for the present, and their greatest concern is t extract the most from it. Plans are not necessary since the future is either uncertain or preordained. Iranians may work five to six days a week only to spend all of their earnings on the seventh day having fun. They have learned to live with uncertainty, distrust, and cynicism, all of which reflects a long history of adaptation of political
circumstances. There is a sense of mistrust in interpersonal relationships. Individuals must always be on guard to protect
themselves. They fear that others will take advantage of their trust. Trusting relationships exist
mainly with family members and life-long friends.
There is a deep-rooted cultural belief in fate, or Taghdir, and Iranians are expected to accept the outcome with grace. Iranians'
respect for strength and submission to the authority of superior forces is part of this concept of fate. This attitude has decreased visibly among the educated group over the past 20 years. They are more likely to believe
that it is up the individual to change his or her life.
Iranians are very hospitable, and guests are treated with unusual courtesy and generosity. This hospitality is present at all social levels. There is a tendency toward toleration of verbal exaggeration. Since Iranians try to avoid publicly criticizing or embarrassing one another, truthfulness is avoided if it brings harm to another. They
express disagreement through use of socially acceptable humor and wit.
Friendships are very important. They often begin in school and are close intimate, and of long duration. Friends remain loyal and are likely to meet regularly, make mutual demands, have high expectations of each other, and
exchange favors. There is also a large circle of less intimate friends and acquaintances on whom a person relies and who are an important part of Iranians' social and professional life.
Iranians rely on a social code that prescribes correct behavioral patterns toward those in each position in the hierarchy. People in lower ranks respond to others
in higher ranks with deference, politeness, and respect even though they may feel resentment and hostility toward them.
Iranians are emotionally expressive people regardless of sex. Both men and women show their tears, anger, and affection easily. Kissing and hugging as a
way of greeting are common both between men and between women but are less socially acceptable between a
man and a woman.
The western preoccupation with time is not present since Iranians' philosophical view of life is oriented to the present. Since pride and identification with their
occupation is more important than the materialistic rewards of a profession, Iranians will not perform a job that they consider beneath them. For example, Iranians do not perform well on assembly lines.
There is a predictable pattern to conflict resolution. When conflict develops in families and among friends, fighting ensues and overt communication stops. This may last days, weeks, or months. Eventually, mediators may be used to reconcile the two.
These mediators are extremely important because they facilitate compromise, while allowing each party to save
face by not "giving in."
Family structure and Relationships
There is little research on the Iranian family apart from information generally available on Iranian life
consisting of accounts of travelers, anthropologists, outside observers, and some scanty research data based on studying a small segment of the population or a specific social class. In this chapter we have put together formulations based on personal, cultural, and
treatment experiences with Iranian families.
The family is the most significant element of Iranian culture and society. The individual's total life is dominated by the family and family relationships in a way similar to other
no industrial counties. People rely on family connections for influence, power,
positing, and security. The importance of the family as a social unit for Iranian dated back to Zoroastrian time
(pre-Islam period), when rearing children and duties of children toward their parents were considered sacred.
The extended family has traditionally been the basic social unit. This goes along with the predominantly
agrarian nature of the society. In the villages and tribes the maintenance of this pattern is crucial for survival in hard times and is,
therefore, generally preserved. However, in urban areas, geographical dispersion of the extended family and differences in status and material holdings diminish the significance of the extended family as an important
psychological and bonding entity. The hierarchical organization of the society is apparent in the ascending
order from the family, to the village, to the tribe, and, finally, to the country.
Continued in the next issue.......