Iranian Families (Continued)
by: Behnaz Jallali
Child Rearing
Children are the focus of attention and affection from both the nuclear and extended families and may be spoiled by aunts, uncles, and grandparents. This is especially true of young boys. As children grow older, they are expected to be4 polite and respectful toward adults. The Iranian child is typically well mannered and can sit quietly for hours in the presence of adults.
Boys tend to bully their sisters and sometimes tyrannize their mothers, but their naughtiness and aggressiveness is affectionately praised at the same time that they are scolded. Both parents are more permissive toward their sons than toward their daughters. A girl is expected to be submissive and to give in to her brother. The male child learns t respect his father's authority and dominance, yet he learns self-assertion and a degree of independence in his relationship t the rest of the family. Boys grow up believing themselves distinctly superior to girls, but by adolescence, they are also strongly protective of them.
Discipline is maintained mainly by the father and consists of scolding or slapping. There is no specific pattern to the punishment; depending upon the mood of the moment, a child may be ignored, laughed off, or overlooked, for a more serious set. For example, a child may be slapped if he or she misbehaves in public or in front of the family's guest, yet the same misbehavior might only merit a scolding in private.
It must be understood that since the authority of the parents, especially the father, is visible and respected, simply his expression of disapproval and scolding is quite effective. Often the consequences of bad behavior do not even need to be spelled out. Western methods of disciplining, such as withholding favorite foods or sending children to their rooms, are rarely used. Also important is that adult married children are still considered by their parents to be children.
Child training involves many prohibitions that are expressed repeatedly by the parents. For example, children are told to be obedient, to behave like adults, and to be quiet. However, most of the social learning occurs through experiences with either the peer group or the extended family unit.