Life Cycle and
Tradition
Parents gain more respect
and power as they get older. In their older age, parents
may retain their own residence and be looked after by the
children or they may live with one of them. There are no
nursing homes.
When death occurs, the
mourning ceremonies are an important function for the family and
the neighborhood where the person has lived. Mourning is
expressed quite openly especially by women, to the point that
they often faint out of extreme grief. The neighborhood
and the community are very much involved in supporting the
bereaved emotionally, soothing them, bringing food, visiting
often, and talking with them about the deceased person.
No formal funeral homes
exist, and the dead body may remain in the home for one to two
days - in a secluded area of the house in the presence of a
clergyman reciting prayers. Then the body is taken to the
cemetery. The mourning lasts for three days; a memorial
for the dead is held by the family on the seventh day, the 40th
day, and the first-year anniversary. On these occasions
the extended family, friends, and community visit the grieved,
and the dead are remembered. It is generally believed that
a person is judged after death and, depending upon the sum total
of his or her acts during his or her life, is sent to hell or
heaven.
Wealth passes from husband
to wife and children, but the shares are unequal - sons receive
a full share, daughters a half-share, and the wife a smaller
share. However, the wife can own property in her own name,
whether from an urban or rural background.
The traditional family has
a structure that is relatively immune to conflict and
tension. While to an outside observer this structure may
appear as a source of conflict, the values and roles are
internalized and accepted as norms, and conflicts are at a
minimum. Women generally accept their husbands' dominance,
at least on the surface, and complain little about it
outwardly. Family loyalties and the sense of obligation go
a long way. Foreigners are repeatedly astonished that
Iranian women accept the situation when their husbands bring their
mothers, sisters, and other relatives to share their home.
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Issue.................................................Modern family |